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JENNIFER C., Cycle 7 Participant and Writer and Director of Hoofprints (2014)

Fear is innate. Fear is primeval. Fear is what keeps us alive. Sometimes we seek fear, in search for a thrill, whether it be roller-coasters or things like zombies, vampires, dragons, ghosts and other paranormal creatures or all of those. But most of the time, in the non-fictional universe - we retreat from fear, fearful of fear itself.


The fear of the unknown is all-consuming, whether it be the possibility of zombies, ghosts or whatnot or the supposedly more mundane things in life. Whatever is, it is unknown - whether it be good, bad or terrifying. Closely following behind is the Fear of Failure, biting at the heels of the unknown.


It’s not quite as easy to script and storyboard life as it is a film and as such, there are so many unknowns. So many ways that the plot can be thrown astray. So many ways that the terrifying unknown can sneak up.


It’s not really the zombies that are concerning, as in the case of a zombie

apocalypse we might as well surrender to our new zombie overlords anyway instead delaying the inevitable. It’s the zombies made out of fear that are more concerning.  Moving mindlessly through each unchanging day as one lets the walls of fears and anxieties take control.


Faced with the walls of fear, moving forward is much harder than originally thought. Even if moving forward is good. Even if the progress, the change is all you  wanted. Even if the things that scare you are the very things that are needed to progress.

"No project - no film, no art, no piece of writing can happen without getting over fear."

It’s easy to get lost in fears, let it take over you as you roam around life, zombie-like, stumbling through life in a attempt to avoid fears. I’ll admit that I’ve done a lot of that.  It’s easier to avoid fears than to face the zombies, dragons and ghosts head-on. But nothing can come of that.  No project - no film, no art, no piece of writing can happen without getting over fear. Even if it’s simply the fear of failure or a fear of some aspect of the process like trying something new. For me it will be trying the things I have always avoided, always feared.  In particular it will be

working on a project with other people since I’ve never quite grasped the game of social interaction.


Regardless, it’s exceedingly difficult, perhaps impossible to move forward in life without fear - let alone accomplish dreams. I know that and I still feel the urge to cling to the solitary walls of the known, sometimes letting fear take over and guide me through the halls of sameness, zombie-like. The walls are at once comforting and obstructing. Certainly, the walls are in my way. But these walls have always been there, protecting me from the zombies and dragons lurking outside.


I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do with these walls of fear. But I’m trying to  slowly taking them down, even though I can see all those metaphorical monsters lurking beyond. Still, I hope that I’m on that right path and that maybe one day my dreams will be be realized.


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